"Writing is who we are..."
Lani Diane Rich on the magic of creating and why we should never quit
Hello Unstoppables,
I hope you’re having a lovely November and, if you’re doing NANOWRIMO that you’re loving getting stuck into your creative project.
This month, I’m bring back my guest post series, in which I ask a writer about a time they felt like giving up and how they pushed through it.
To kick off this new series I can’t think of anyone more suited to the task than the wonderful New York Times bestselling author Lani Diane Rich. I’ve been a fan of Lani’s for a while. I first discovered her through her Buffy podcast Still Pretty and her inspiring Big, Strong, Yes podcast, and she has also written a brilliant writing book How Story Works which has it’s own podcast series - and many more podcasts which are delivered through her company Chipperish. AND she’s running a writing workshop, with spaces open for next year - this is one productive and amazing individual!
I love Lani’s approach to story and her willingness to get honest about the realities of a creative life, so when I asked her my usual question I knew we’d be in for something special. I hope you find her answer as uplifting and encouraging as I did. (You can follow Lani’s Substack here: Dear Writer)
What’s a time you felt like giving up and why, and how did you get through that?
What I find really interesting about this question is that I, by nature, am a quitter. I don’t believe in sticking with something just because I started it. I am a frog that jumps from lilypad to lilypad and I have absolutely no shame about it. If anything I’m doing ceases to serve me, I’m generally gonna bounce.
But now that I’m sitting down to really think about this question, I am realizing for the first time that I have never actually ever considered quitting writing.
I can’t imagine why anyone ever would.
I can understand quitting publishing, that’s another kettle of fish entirely, but to quit writing?
No.
I’m not a writer because I write; I write because I’m a writer. Writing itself is what I chase; the experience of having magic run through me to express itself. Writing is not the thing that gets me something else, like money or fame or acclaim or respect.
I mean… most writers don’t get much or any of those things. Most writers don’t make a living wage, but we do it anyway because it’s not what we do; it’s who we are.
Not writing, for people who are writers, is like not breathing. Even if you no longer wish to sit down at a keyboard and type, or grab a pen and paper and scribble it out, you will still write, because writing happens in your brain, without you having to physically record a word of it.
I’ve had a long stretch where I haven’t finished or published a story; from an outside perspective, I can see how that would look like I stopped writing, but I never did. It is literally the only work in my life I’ve never tired of or wandered away from in search of something more shiny to delight my attention.
But none of that is helpful to someone who is thinking about quitting writing. So if this is you, I just have one question for you:
Why do you want to quit?
I believe that everyone is inherently creative, and that your creativity will express itself in a myriad of ways. Your creativity will never, ever leave you, but if you’re feeling like writing isn’t for you, maybe your creativity yearns to be expressed in a different way. Maybe it’s morphing away from writing and toward something like… making YouTube videos, or dancing, or painting, or cooking.
If your creativity is pulling you away from writing, let it. See where you go.
But if the reason you want to quit is that you’re frustrated and tired…
If the pile of rejection letters is making you feel like a failure…
If your last book didn’t sell that well and you’re worried you won’t get another contract…
Those are all good reasons to sit down and have a good cry, but they’re not reasons to quit.
Your job as a writer is to write. There is no requirement to publish, or to make money, or to hit a bestseller list, or get starred reviews in The New York Times. Those things are all about outcome, and outcome is not your business.
Maybe you’ll never be able to quit your day job. Maybe you’ll never be a writer people talk about, or remember past your own lifetime. Maybe you’ll never get an agent or a publisher.
Pardon me but… so what?
Stories are a piece of real, actual, I-am-not-kidding-you magic, and there is something inside of you that deeply wants to make that magic. The only thing you need for the purpose of your story to be complete is for one person to read it and experience as real the world you created from your imagination.
And that one person? Can be you. You can be the only person who ever experiences your story and it doesn’t matter; it is still magic, because you experienced it. It is still valid and important and amazing.
Don’t confuse writing with a job. A job is about the money; writing is about the magic. If it is also able to make you money, that’s great.
But money, success, accolades… none of these things are the point, and they never were. Forget them, and return to your stories knowing that each of them are an individual magic that has chosen you to express them.
The second you start writing, you have already been chosen.
The only outcome that matters at all has already happened.
So run with it, and see where it takes you.
Lani Diane Rich writes Dear Writer, a newsletter about healing her relationship with writing. Applications are open now for her long-form fiction writing workshop, Year of Writing Magically, which starts in March of 2024.
Thanks so much Lani!
Happy writing everyone, until next time,
Nicola x
Lani is magic